Inanely insane
by Septdeneuf
Summary: 8 years of running from his power hungry brother have taken their toll on Chris' mind. During his stay in the past he displays strange behaviors...
1. Teaser

Inanely insane

Teaser

A/N: This is just an idea that popped in my head today, don't know where it may be going or whether I'll even write on. I just have a little teaser to get you guys' opinion.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Haven't I said that before somewhere?

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The only thing he heard were the basses.

And they were loud.

Much too loud.

He turned around and tried to cover his ears with a pillow in frustration. It didn't work. He let out a groan.

He had especially gone to bed early today, to finally get some much needed rest, but to no avail. Sleeping in the back room of P3 was a pretty bad idea. He figured it would yet take hours until he could get a little sleep.

Accepting his fate he sat up and glared at the door.

What if he just blew this door away? Just one twitch of his finger and it would fly right out of its frame, smashing into a lot of people in the crowd that was partying like there was no tomorrow.

Hurt them. Maybe kill them even. He smiled at that thought. Then they would be quiet and never dare to be loud again. He had the power to do that. But he didn't know whether he would use it.

Still it remained a nice dream. The knowledge that he had the power to put an end to all this always comforted him.

Their _Happiness_ disturbed and disgusted him in a way he couldn't describe. It felt so distant. He couldn't remember ever having felt something like this. Everything he could recall of his life was darkness. No matter where he was, no matter what he had done, positive feelings had never made their way to him.

A voice distracted him from his thoughts. He immediately recognized it to be that of his mother's. Apparently she was talking to the crowd via microphone. The only thing he could catch of what she was saying through the thick walls was, "... the night is just beginning..."

Just great. Even more of that stupid noise was yet to come. In that moment he felt a strong feeling of loath towards Piper Halliwell. She was one of the happy people. That made her the enemy in his mind. It didn't matter who she was or that his existence depended on her. She was just like everyone else. And everyone else was not like him. And in the past she was especially hard to stomach. As well as her sisters. They were all so... friendly... nice and happy. Again that word. Happiness was a bad thing to him. But as much as he hated it he envied those capable of feeling it.

Still it annoyed him to have people like that in his family. He liked Leo a lot more because he was always suspicious.

Once he had even thought about killing the sisters, just to make them stop smiling. But the thought of his mission had stopped him.

If only he could remember what that was all the time. Some days he just went about his routine without wasting one thought on why he was doing this.

But then he remembered something. There was one thing that made him feel nice. That made him feel at home, no matter where he was.

With a small grin on his face, he pulled a knife out of his pocket and started to add new scars to those on his arm that were already there...

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TBC Maybe

Tell me what you think!


	2. Newsflash

Inanely insane

Chapter 1 – Newsflash

A/N: What can I say? Thanks for the reviews. Somehow it's nice to have a story around where you have no too big pressure, and I hope you like what I'm doing here.

Time: I think I should mention that… The incident with Bianca did not happen at all, and they're about the state of relationship from "Hot mamas", but Piper and Leo already did what they needed to do but no ones knows yet who Chris is or that Piper is pregnant.

Disclaimer: I seriously doubt the effectiveness of this, but still it does not belong to me.

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"Hey you!", Paige greeted happily when their new whitelighter orbed in. She was standing in the kitchen, next to the coffee machine, while an anxious Phoebe was waiting for her Cappuccino.

"Hi", Chris replied in a friendly tone that was really fake, but none of the two noticed it. He was still pretty angry about the night before where he had barely gotten any sleep, but he was very good at masking his emotions. Always had been.

"Want some coffee?", Paige chirped, obviously in a good mood. She had finally figured out how this stupid coffee machine could be inserted with new coffee filters, which she hadn't managed so far, a fact that had earned her 3 days without coffee since she had always failed to ask Piper about it and Phoebe knew less about that thing than she did.

"No thanks", Chris declined. He didn't really like coffee and was not in the mood to drink one either.

Phoebe looked at Chris in suspicion. Somehow he seemed weird to her, but she had that feeling a lot. _Get a grip!_, she scolded herself. _What's wrong with not wanting coffee?_

"So what's on your schedule today?", Paige asked in a friendly while she poured some coffee for herself and her older sister who was in desperate need of some caffeine.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, but I'm going to need the power of three for a vanquish some time today, when are you free?", he asked, pretending to be in a light mood.

"At lunch I think, that's when we all should be available. My new temp job is a little crazy but I got lunch break from 1 to 2 pm", Paige said while trying to find a spoon to stir her coffee.

Chris raised an eyebrow. "What's so crazy about it?"

"Well, I'm working at a company that makes coffee filters at the moment and I'm in quality assurance. I have to make sure every filter has the same shade of brown, because some costumers complained", Paige explained. "My whole day seems to be centered on coffee today, doesn't it?", she asked while handing one of the cups, now both equipped with small spoons to her sister.

"Appears so", Chris agreed, even though he didn't know what except for that job was so coffee centered about that day.

"Well, I gotta go. Just call me when you need me for that vanquish", Paige told him and then left the kitchen, still carrying her cup of coffee.

This left Phoebe with an uneasy feeling. She didn't really like to be alone with the young whitelighter. She had had no problem at first, but ever since she had received her power of empathy she had felt weird in his company. She couldn't exactly read him, but she always had some strange sense in the back of her mind when she was around him, that sent shivers up and down her spine. It wasn't as strong when she was around him in the company of someone else, but when there were just the two of them she felt as if she was a character in some horror movie who didn't recognize the enemy until it was too late.

Whatever the reason for her feelings was, deep inside she knew there was something seriously wrong about that guy. Let alone the fact that he always appeared to be wearing sweaters even when it was hot summer outside was creepy to her.

Still she smiled at him and pretended as if there was nothing. "So, how was your night?"

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Piper took a deep breath. She couldn't help it, but she was very reluctant to open her eyes which she had closed just some seconds ago.

She was holding something in her hand which could be the key to a major change in her life. Funny that a thing like that was to be discovered sitting on a toilet holding a stick.

She didn't know which outcome was better for her, and on some level she didn't really want to know what was real and what was not. That was the reason she had closed her eyes previously.

She was taking a pregnancy test. She had been feeling weird lately, weird in a way she had only experienced when she had been pregnant with Wyatt and her monthly visit of uncomfortableness was way overdue. And she had realized with fear that the one time both she and her former husband had gotten weak they had not taken any precautions. She hadn't taken any since she hadn't thought she would have any contact of that sort anytime soon anyway and he had probably simply forgotten about it.

So now she was looking at the possible result. Or rather not looking, since she was way too scared of what it could possibly be to open her eyes. If it was negative she would probably be disappointed, since she had somehow on some level liked the thought, but if it was positive her life was about to be so complicated, but then again, she could be going to be a mom again. What could be better news?

She had absolutely no idea what she should hope for. But she was beginning to feel that she could not keep up with the tension of not knowing much longer, so she finally decided to open her eyes again.

She stared at the strip and at the color it had taken after she had peed on it. Until she realized she had no idea what that color meant.

She turned around and grabbed the box to look it up.

There it was.

What she had wanted to know.

She slipped down to the floor and stared at nothing in particular while she was trying to get a hold of the various emotions that were fighting for avail.

She was pregnant.

She was going to be a mom again.

Wyatt would have a little sibling.

She would not have Leo around to help her with this.

She was going to have to handle two children on her own now.

And she had absolutely no idea whether she should be overjoyed right now or burst into tears. Everything had turned so complicated from one second to the next that it was just too much for her to really understand, but then again, a small miracle was growing inside her now.

Joy or sorrow?

That was a hard question for her to answer.

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

And a smile crept its way upon her face. For the moment all her instincts were telling her how wonderful this was. And she couldn't deny that. So happiness had won.

But what was she going to do? Should she tell Leo, or her sisters?

If she told Leo he might reverse his decision to become an elder, but was that even possible? Even though it would be wonderful for her, could she really be so selfish and stop the love of her life's destiny?

And what would her sisters say? If she told Phoebe it would probably be only a matter of time, of very short time until Leo knew as well and she would have to face her troubles. But she couldn't just tell Paige and exclude Phoebe, that was unfair to her, since the two of them had known each other a lot longer than Piper had known Paige.

No, it was better if she kept it to herself. At least for now.

She finally decided stand up and leave the bathroom. When she got out she met Paige.

"What are you smiling about?", her youngest sister asked her confusedly, as it was not Piper's habit to come smiling like that out of the bathroom.

"Oh, I just checked that we weren't out of toothpaste as I thought, so I don't need to go shopping today", Piper said, while she realized this was probably the most stupid excuse she had ever invented.

Paige would've questioned this further, but she didn't have a lot of time anymore, so she decided to get back to it later. So she just went to the bathroom.

"Piper?", Piper heard her sister ask just after she had entered.

"Yes?"

"We _are_ out of toothpaste."

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Chris had absolutely no intention of telling Phoebe about his night. He had the feeling that it would not really be a nice story to tell if he said, _I couldn't sleep because that annoying mother of mine made so much noise and then I started to cut myself, which could lift my mood slightly. _ Instead he chose to say, "Ok"

"Well…", Phoebe started without really having an ending to her sentence. Somehow her small talk abilities weren't half as good when she was around their whitelighter. So she decided there was no small talk necessary. But the bottom of her cup which was clearly visible by now told her it was time for a new cup of coffee.

She stood up and went to the coffee machine. She poured the hot liquid into her cup and tried carefully to avoid Chris' eyes. Standing so close to him made the hairs in the back of her neck stand up, but she hoped he didn't see. But the chance that he did was pretty high, due to her current haircut.

She turned around and wanted to get back to her seat, but she misjudged the distance between her and Chris, and bumped right into him, pouring the hot liquid right over his arm.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!", she exclaimed, "We need to cool that, sorry", she said and without further thinking she pulled up his sleeve to put his arm under the tap. But what she saw there was shocking. His arm was covered in scars, some old some new, some small some huge.

In shock she looked up only to be met with a glare from her clearly not amused whitelighter.

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A/N: I have absolutely no idea how this got so coffee centered…

Please review!


	3. Identity

Inanely insane

Chapter 3 – Identity

A/N: Somehow I didn't really like to write something for the last month. I didn't really feel like fanfiction. But some of my favorite stories had really great updates over the last few weeks so I decided I could do a little bit myself now.

On a different note, I still don't really know where this story is going.

Disclaimer: No, not even the long time that has passed was enough to change it. Charmed

Still doesn't belong to me. Why do you even bother asking?

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For a moment Phoebe could do nothing but stare at the arm of her whitelighter at a complete loss of words. She couldn't figure out anything sensible to say, but the silence that had claimed the kitchen right now was very uncomfortable to her. The man who was glaring at her did absolutely nothing to ease that tension.

"Did some demon…?", she started in a hushed voice, even though she had the very distinctive feeling that this was in fact not the work of any demon but inner ones. She had no real idea what led her to that assumption but these cuts all had a similarity to them which made this strike her as the only logical conclusion.

"No", Chris answered coldly and glared at her in a way that made her want to disappear in an instant. Pity that she didn't have a power like that. Only now she became very aware of the huge height difference between the two of them. He was a very tall guy…

"But then…", she stuttered, even though this felt like pushing her luck too much. She was afraid that if she actually demanded an explanation he would explode somehow. She had no idea how that would express itself, but truth to be told, she wasn't eager to find that out.

"It's none of your business", he hissed and snatched his arm out of her hands. She realized that it was still covered in hot coffee, but he didn't even flinch. Some of the scars were very fresh, how could he not care about the hot liquid spilled on them?

He pulled back his sleeve to cover the recently revealed secret and kept on shooting his aunt nasty looks. "This doesn't concern you, so I strongly suggest you don't worry about it anymore. You get that?", he demanded in a menacing tone that gave Phoebe the sudden urge to grab the counter to steady herself. She had never before realized that this dark haired young man could be so scary.

Without saying another word but with his eyes still transfixed on those of the witch he orbed out.

When all the bright blue lights had finally dissipated Phoebe let out a sigh of relief. Maybe she really shouldn't look into this matter any further.

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Piper scolded herself mentally for her bad lying while she made her way back to her bedroom. _Toothpaste! Couldn't think of anything more stupid, now could you?_, she asked her mental self frustrated. Well she sure hoped Paige hadn't picked up any suspicion. If she was going to keep her pregnancy secret for a while she had to get better at this, otherwise everyone would be wondering about what baby clothes were in this season by tomorrow.

She entered her room just to be met with yet another challenge to her lying abilities. Completely unexpectedly she saw her former husband sitting on their formerly shared bed.

"Leo, what are you doing here", she asked confused. Especially that he was sitting were he was sitting was very unsettling to her. Did the Elders have some way of watching her and he already knew? She tried to convince herself that this was not the case, but somehow the uncertainty remained. He had after all said something about watching over her, before he had become an Elder, hadn't he?

"I was going to babysit Wyatt today, so you are free to do the set-up for the band you booked. Don't you remember?", Leo asked in a friendly tone. Piper instantly searched her mind but discovered nothing except for a big blank. It was true, there was a band in today, but had she really told Leo to watch Wyatt today? When was that supposed to have taken place?

"Right, yeah", she said with a slightly forced smile, while she still couldn't remember asking her ex husband for anything lately. Still, she decided to play along. He probably knew why he was here, after all it wasn't too easy for him to get off Elder duty, so it had to be right. "Well, he's asleep right now, but he's already had breakfast. I'll come in around noon to check on you two, is that ok?", she asked.

"Yeah sure. Should I orb to the club and pick you up?", he offered.

She shook her head, "No Leo. It isn't too far and I have a car, and how am I ever supposed to get a normal life if I can't even drive home like everyone else?"

She turned around and got her jacket. It actually came in kind of handy that Leo was here, because Piper hadn't really determined yet who to dump the babysitting on, since both her sisters were going to be at work today.

So it was a lucky coincidence that had gone by without any secret spilling. Nice start for the day.

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Chris noticed himself reappearing not on the Golden Gate Bridge but in the Golden Gate park. He had actually not really planned where to orb, only to get away from his annoying aunt. The incident with the coffee had made his mood drop considerably, not that he had been in any good mood before. He sat down on a bench and made sure no one was watching, then he pulled up his sleeve. The arm was still wet, but oddly enough it hadn't hurt even when the hot coffee had been poured down on it. Maybe he was going numb or something.

He felt incredibly angry at Phoebe, even though he knew it was an accident. She simply should keep her nose out of business that wasn't hers. She liked messing with other people's life, which was a reason for her doing that advice column every week, and it annoyed Chris to no end. Even though she had always expected the family to read the crap she stumped out every week, he had never bothered to, because it was boring him way too much to care.

He looked around. It was cloudy, but not exactly bad weather. Pity, he would have preferred it to be raining. He decided he needed to cool down a little, to get in a better mood. After all there was a Power of Three vanquish on his schedule today. He hoped that Phoebe would not mention this to her sisters, so he just had to appear normal.

He got up and went for a walk. He barely spent any time not chasing demons and this solitude felt unfamiliar to him. Some yards ahead there was a mother with her daughter. He couldn't hear what she said, but he could see the happy grin on the small girl's face. He immediately despised the girl for no apparent reason. Or well, for being happy.

The mother picked her daughter up and spun her around in the air. Chris rolled his eyes at the pair and walked past them. The girl immediately stopped giggling when he passed them. Maybe it felt a little of his anger.

The happy feelings she had held seemed further from him than Neptune. He didn't care to visit either. For a moment though he tried to remember being happy like her, but he couldn't find anything in his mind. In his memories there was only death, despair and hatred. And that didn't bother him.

While he kept on walking in the gentle breeze he wondered why he was even doing this. Going to the past and all. His mission was to save the future, to preserve the world that existed nowadays. But during the time he had spent in the past he had discovered that he disliked this state of the world more than the one he had left. He wasn't saying that destruction and death were something he liked, but at least they didn't frustrate him as much as everything he met in this world every day.

Yet he knew he couldn't just give up. He was stuck fighting for a cause he had long stopped caring about. But what good would it do him just to give up? Absolutely nothing.

Good… He was fighting for it and yet he didn't really like it. It seemed to him like a huge monster, always demanding to get more and more, more sacrifice, more death, and never, ever giving anything back. Still, he would never join up with his brother, he would never turn evil. He didn't even really know why, but he had this strong instinct inside of him telling him, whatever he did, he could not turn. So here he was, trying to change the world he didn't even want to be changed.

He stopped and looked at the clouds that were moving faster now. Apparently the wind was getting upset where he had just calmed down. He still felt frustrated, but for the lack of alternatives he knew it was useless. He sat down on a piece of grass and kept observing the clouds, tangled in a furious dance with the wind. Well, his little thinking had maybe calmed him down, but still it didn't stop him from pulling his knife out of his pocket.

He absentmindedly flipped it open and started the same procedure he had done for so many years now, every time he had nothing better to do. And somewhere, deep in the back of his mind he wondered why he barely even noticed the blood flowing.

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"This toothpaste thing is evolving to be a real problem", Paige exclaimed walking into the kitchen again, because she had forgotten her purse.

Phoebe, who was totally caught off guard stared at her without comprehension. "What toothpaste thing?", she asked confused.

"Well, there is none left. And now I have to go with one of these chewing gums that are supposed to clean your teeth, and I don't know if it's actually doing that, but the thing I do know is that it tastes awful", Paige explained, without noticing how upset her older sister was right now. But she had other things on her mind, like where that stupid purse was. "Have you seen my purse?", she asked Phoebe who just shook her head.

Phoebe looked around the kitchen in case the purse was anywhere in her sight and meanwhile she was wondering what she should do about that incident with Chris. Maybe she should really not do anything about it, after all he was right, it didn't concern her, but she felt the need to help. She didn't have her psychology degree for nothing and it hurt her seeing someone in that state and not trying to help.

Maybe she should tell her sisters about this so they could figure out a way to stop their whitelighter from doing that to himself. What would even drive a being of good to doing something like that? Maybe the future was even worse than she had believed so far.

While she had been thinking Paige had found her purse. "Well, I'm off then, bye!", she told her sister and rushed out, followed by Piper who was hurrying to get to the club. The door slammed shut behind the two and Phoebe realized she had to leave as well.

Whatever she decided about telling her sisters or not, she definitely didn't have time to do that now.

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When the sound of the door slamming shut for the second time this morning echoed through the manor the Elder who had been standing next to the crib of the sleeping Wyatt picked up his son. He knew that the manor was empty now.

Sadly there was no one around to witness the two of them dissipating into tiny black orbs.

TBC…

A/N: Well, here's the new chapter, I hope you like it, so please review and tell me what you think.

Also, if I don't get a chance to update one of my other stories before New Year's Eve, let me tell you, that I wish all my readers a happy new year.


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